The Destroyer

The destroyer archetype sounds frightening, but a deeper look at it lets us know it is and can be an ally.

The destroyer teaches us that all things must end. Our bodies’ age, relationships sour, we leave jobs, our pets die, children leave home, friendships end, etc. In our culture we often fail to acknowledge death until we are forced to. But an awareness of death can help us to see what is truly important to us and where our priorities need to be.

The destroyer has been strong in my life lately, from the recent death of my beloved dog, to relationships and jobs ending. The feelings of loss have been profound and I hope time will ease this.

The destroyer gets encountered whenever we experience a death or loss. For some of us this happens at a young age, and others don’t experience significant loss until midlife. But without exception, we all will face the destroyer eventually.

Illness, divorce, natural or manmade disasters, financial upheaval, death and other losses cause us to go face to face with the destroyer. The destroyer can come from outside of us or within us. If it comes from outside of us, we feel powerless and victimized.

So how can the destroyer come from within? When we make the choice to have endings, whether that be a relationship, job, or ending a project that is no longer satisfying we are consciously choosing the destroyer.

Do not deny the pain and grief of loss- give yourself the time and space to fully experience it.

Using the destroyer as an ally, ask it, what beliefs do I need to give up that no longer serve me? What relationships should come to an end? What old ways or addictions should I let go of? These are powerful questions to ask and to see the destroyer as a friend and guide.

Do not be afraid of the destroyer- it is a part of life! And, there is no avoiding all the little deaths we experience before our “big” death.

But, along with destruction and death, comes creation and life. The life/death/life cycle informs us of this¸ and the next archetype I will write about is the creator.

Introduction to Archetypes

“We are our own raw material. Only when we know what we’re made of, and what we want to make of it, can we begin our lives…..To be authentic is, literally, to be your own author, to discover your own native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them.” Warren Bennis


I have long been interested in archetypes due to my interest in Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, and then later on Thomas Moore and Carol Pearson. So I decided to share my interest, because I find it useful for myself and clients when we can pinpoint what archetype is dominant at any given time- it can give us some space to deal with intense emotions or difficult situations.

What are archetypes? The simplest definition I can give you is a psychological structure in our lives, that is universally experienced (with cultural differences) which show us the aspects of ourselves that need attention. We all have “inner stories” that guide our lives, and those stories have themes (archetypes)

When describing archetypes I rely on Carol Pearson’s work heavily, particularly the Pearson Marr Archetype Indicator, copyright 2002. There are many different nuances to understanding archetypes, but I shall condense the information and make it simpler to understand and use in our own lives.

The Innocent. We see the world through our naivety and belief that everyone is good. We have fresh eyes, and see beauty. We believe the world is safe.

The Orphan. We have been wounded and we no longer trust. We become cynical of others. We are realistic and resilient.

Caregiver. We enjoy taking care of others, and we give a lot, sometimes at the expense of ourselves.

Warrior. We defend ourselves and others. We stand up to bullies, we right injustice.

Seeker. We are looking for meaning, how to live, “answers”.

Lover. We like connecting with others and being in love is important.

Destroyer. We experience a lot of change, loss, or upheaval in our lives.

Creator. We have new ideas, vision and creativity.

Ruler. We are responsible, and we can lead people.

Magician. We have a healing or transformative presence; we know the power of word.

Sage. We are wise, in an objective way.

Jester. We like humor and to live in the moment.

This is a very simplistic definition of archetypes, and they are much more complex than that! I will go into depth on each archetype in following blogs so that we have a better understanding of how they manifest for good and bad (all archetypes have shadow or “dark” sides to them).

For me personally, the archetypes that were dominant in my life have changed and continue to do so, especially during times of great personal change. Right now the Destroyer and the Creator are very evident. The Creator due to me starting a clinic, taking a leap and creating what I see is important in a clinic. But the Destroyer is strong because I have left 2 long term jobs, and there has been so many endings with that (many of them painful). The other strong Destroyer influence in my life recently has been the loss of our dog and what a difficult, painful time that has been, and continues to be.

So please join me on the journey of understanding archetypes! I will go into depth with one or two every week. I will explain how they have manifested in my life and others, and how it is good to recognize and embrace them.

It is safe to look within.