The past weekend I spent time cooking and cleaning and I have to say I loved it. Very surprising I know, but as I reflected on why it felt good I realized that cooking and cleaning are grounding activities for me and help me feel connected to my home and family. And those connections are very important to me.
When my life gets very busy and hectic, we tend to eat out a lot, and the house gets dirty and disorganized. The feeling I get then is that I don't want to be home. Home is not a comforting place then for me. And as someone who is introverted and a homebody, not wanting to be home is not a good thing! I need that time and place to recharge.
So understanding this about myself I need to cook and clean regularly and create the time to do that. I am committing to myself to do just that- with summer winding down, hopefully the time will come naturally. I will dust off the crock pot for slow cooker meals, and with apples in season, it's time for apple pie!
What activities ground you? For many people it is regular exercise, connecting with friends/family, being in nature, walking their dog, or reading. Whatever it is that grounds you, make the committment to give that to yourself regularly. Recognize the signs that you are not grounded (for me it is poor sleep, lack of healthy foods, and a flurry of activity but not getting much accomplished). Doing what keeps you grounded will cause you to feel more content with life.
Time to go and clean a bathroom.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The magician
The magician can be a wonderful ally on your journey. Have you ever noticed that how you name your experience changes the way you feel about it? The magician inside us knows the power of words, and how words can heal or wound, and it teaches us to use our words wisely.
A fun example from my own life and the power of naming something is about 10 years ago I had some of my siblings over to dinner, and my one sister commented that the carrots tasted “musty”. I tried one and said “no they taste like earth”. She said “oh” and proceeded to eat a bunch of them because “earthy” tastes better than “musty”. How we name something is very important to how we view it.
Words can also harm. Most of us have been subject to name calling at some point in our lives, and hopefully we did not integrate the names and decide they were true. But if we do believe we are stupid, fat, ugly, etc, it is because words can harm, if we accept them as truth about us.
The magician also understands that on some level, all things are interconnected, and they are on the look out for synchronicity or being led to their next challenge or experience.
The magician’s shadow qualities are to not look deeply and follow gurus wherever they lead us, but also manipulating others by creating an atmosphere where they “have all the answers” and people look to them instead of inside themselves.
To cultivate more magician in your life, practice naming your experience in a more positive light. For example, the firing may have been the best thing for you, and led you to the next path in life. Maybe you are curvy and not fat, or you have strong facial features, not masculine facial features. You are not shy, you are inner focused, etc. Ask yourself, do you use the power of the word to harm or to heal? When? Do you see synchronicity in your life? When and where?
A fun example from my own life and the power of naming something is about 10 years ago I had some of my siblings over to dinner, and my one sister commented that the carrots tasted “musty”. I tried one and said “no they taste like earth”. She said “oh” and proceeded to eat a bunch of them because “earthy” tastes better than “musty”. How we name something is very important to how we view it.
Words can also harm. Most of us have been subject to name calling at some point in our lives, and hopefully we did not integrate the names and decide they were true. But if we do believe we are stupid, fat, ugly, etc, it is because words can harm, if we accept them as truth about us.
The magician also understands that on some level, all things are interconnected, and they are on the look out for synchronicity or being led to their next challenge or experience.
The magician’s shadow qualities are to not look deeply and follow gurus wherever they lead us, but also manipulating others by creating an atmosphere where they “have all the answers” and people look to them instead of inside themselves.
To cultivate more magician in your life, practice naming your experience in a more positive light. For example, the firing may have been the best thing for you, and led you to the next path in life. Maybe you are curvy and not fat, or you have strong facial features, not masculine facial features. You are not shy, you are inner focused, etc. Ask yourself, do you use the power of the word to harm or to heal? When? Do you see synchronicity in your life? When and where?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Ruler
The ruler can be a wonderful archetype for leading and taking responsibility. Good leadership embodies positive qualities of the ruler: having a greater vision than just personal gain, building coalitions, using power wisely (lots of wisdom), a high level of personal integrity, being accountable for our actions (the buck stops here), and being good at empowering others.
Of course there is the shadow side of the ruler that most of us have been privy to in our lives; The dominating aggressive boss who misuses power and blames others instead of looking at themselves, power hungry people who want power for power’s sake, and can’t get enough, a “me” mentality that puts self over the good of the organization or people they are leading, a dictator who issues commands based on whims and not on organizational or family health.
Becoming a ruler in your own kingdom is a step to adulthood that many of us are on. We have families we may be in charge of, making financial and career decisions for the good of ourselves and our loved ones, you learn to accept responsibility for your choices and right any wrongs you may have done are all ways we are rulers in our lives.
A high level of expression of the ruler in your life would include: sharing power and encouraging others to express as much self determination as possible, leading by example and showing positive behaviors and a large degree of self-reflection, and remembering that you cannot force people to do anything but you can lead by inspiring them! It’s such a wonderful and uncommon experience when we encounter good leadership.
To use the ruler archetype in your own life, start by taking responsibility for your actions, not blaming others, and right any wrongs that have been weighing on you. Ask yourself who or what do you give your power away to? And how can you reclaim it? Who do you know that expresses a lot of ruler in their life? Is it a positive or negative expression?
The ruler knows how to get things done and to run things smoothly.
Of course there is the shadow side of the ruler that most of us have been privy to in our lives; The dominating aggressive boss who misuses power and blames others instead of looking at themselves, power hungry people who want power for power’s sake, and can’t get enough, a “me” mentality that puts self over the good of the organization or people they are leading, a dictator who issues commands based on whims and not on organizational or family health.
Becoming a ruler in your own kingdom is a step to adulthood that many of us are on. We have families we may be in charge of, making financial and career decisions for the good of ourselves and our loved ones, you learn to accept responsibility for your choices and right any wrongs you may have done are all ways we are rulers in our lives.
A high level of expression of the ruler in your life would include: sharing power and encouraging others to express as much self determination as possible, leading by example and showing positive behaviors and a large degree of self-reflection, and remembering that you cannot force people to do anything but you can lead by inspiring them! It’s such a wonderful and uncommon experience when we encounter good leadership.
To use the ruler archetype in your own life, start by taking responsibility for your actions, not blaming others, and right any wrongs that have been weighing on you. Ask yourself who or what do you give your power away to? And how can you reclaim it? Who do you know that expresses a lot of ruler in their life? Is it a positive or negative expression?
The ruler knows how to get things done and to run things smoothly.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Creator
The creator is a powerful archetype who helps us to understand that we all actively create our lives. The words we use, the thoughts we think and our beliefs all contribute to the path we are on.
We can’t NOT create. We are always creating, whether it is consciously or unconsciously.
When the creator is strong in us we have many ideas and possibilities, and these ideas just flow from us. I have had times when the creator is prominent in my life and I will keep coming up with new possibilities, some practical and doable, but many not. But I certainly feel energized and alive during those times!
Maybe you are a person who is traditionally artistic: you draw, write, compose music, paint etc. Or you are a gardener, decorator, make up artist, photographer, or designer. There are many many ways to be artistic and to use our talents.
Ask yourself when the times were in your life when you felt very creative and productive. What would you like to create next in your life? Even when the destroyer has made a shamble of your life, know that the creator is there also, and whenever the destroyer gets rid of something in our life, the creator is there also, to help us recreate ourselves.
By thinking about and focusing our attention on what we DO want in our lives, we help to create the space/energy for that to happen. So daydream for a few minutes about the future and what you want to see happen- what would your “perfect” day look like?
Remember we are creating whether we think we are or not! So choose good stuff!
We can’t NOT create. We are always creating, whether it is consciously or unconsciously.
When the creator is strong in us we have many ideas and possibilities, and these ideas just flow from us. I have had times when the creator is prominent in my life and I will keep coming up with new possibilities, some practical and doable, but many not. But I certainly feel energized and alive during those times!
Maybe you are a person who is traditionally artistic: you draw, write, compose music, paint etc. Or you are a gardener, decorator, make up artist, photographer, or designer. There are many many ways to be artistic and to use our talents.
Ask yourself when the times were in your life when you felt very creative and productive. What would you like to create next in your life? Even when the destroyer has made a shamble of your life, know that the creator is there also, and whenever the destroyer gets rid of something in our life, the creator is there also, to help us recreate ourselves.
By thinking about and focusing our attention on what we DO want in our lives, we help to create the space/energy for that to happen. So daydream for a few minutes about the future and what you want to see happen- what would your “perfect” day look like?
Remember we are creating whether we think we are or not! So choose good stuff!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Destroyer
The destroyer archetype sounds frightening, but a deeper look at it lets us know it is and can be an ally.
The destroyer teaches us that all things must end. Our bodies’ age, relationships sour, we leave jobs, our pets die, children leave home, friendships end, etc. In our culture we often fail to acknowledge death until we are forced to. But an awareness of death can help us to see what is truly important to us and where our priorities need to be.
The destroyer has been strong in my life lately, from the recent death of my beloved dog, to relationships and jobs ending. The feelings of loss have been profound and I hope time will ease this.
The destroyer gets encountered whenever we experience a death or loss. For some of us this happens at a young age, and others don’t experience significant loss until midlife. But without exception, we all will face the destroyer eventually.
Illness, divorce, natural or manmade disasters, financial upheaval, death and other losses cause us to go face to face with the destroyer. The destroyer can come from outside of us or within us. If it comes from outside of us, we feel powerless and victimized.
So how can the destroyer come from within? When we make the choice to have endings, whether that be a relationship, job, or ending a project that is no longer satisfying we are consciously choosing the destroyer.
Do not deny the pain and grief of loss- give yourself the time and space to fully experience it.
Using the destroyer as an ally, ask it, what beliefs do I need to give up that no longer serve me? What relationships should come to an end? What old ways or addictions should I let go of? These are powerful questions to ask and to see the destroyer as a friend and guide.
Do not be afraid of the destroyer- it is a part of life! And, there is no avoiding all the little deaths we experience before our “big” death.
But, along with destruction and death, comes creation and life. The life/death/life cycle informs us of this¸ and the next archetype I will write about is the creator.
The destroyer teaches us that all things must end. Our bodies’ age, relationships sour, we leave jobs, our pets die, children leave home, friendships end, etc. In our culture we often fail to acknowledge death until we are forced to. But an awareness of death can help us to see what is truly important to us and where our priorities need to be.
The destroyer has been strong in my life lately, from the recent death of my beloved dog, to relationships and jobs ending. The feelings of loss have been profound and I hope time will ease this.
The destroyer gets encountered whenever we experience a death or loss. For some of us this happens at a young age, and others don’t experience significant loss until midlife. But without exception, we all will face the destroyer eventually.
Illness, divorce, natural or manmade disasters, financial upheaval, death and other losses cause us to go face to face with the destroyer. The destroyer can come from outside of us or within us. If it comes from outside of us, we feel powerless and victimized.
So how can the destroyer come from within? When we make the choice to have endings, whether that be a relationship, job, or ending a project that is no longer satisfying we are consciously choosing the destroyer.
Do not deny the pain and grief of loss- give yourself the time and space to fully experience it.
Using the destroyer as an ally, ask it, what beliefs do I need to give up that no longer serve me? What relationships should come to an end? What old ways or addictions should I let go of? These are powerful questions to ask and to see the destroyer as a friend and guide.
Do not be afraid of the destroyer- it is a part of life! And, there is no avoiding all the little deaths we experience before our “big” death.
But, along with destruction and death, comes creation and life. The life/death/life cycle informs us of this¸ and the next archetype I will write about is the creator.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Being introverted is not a disease
I am an introvert, and I get tired of hearing from some psychological research that extroverts are healthier and happier than introverts, and that we should encourage extroversion in ourselves and our children.
Are relationships important? Yes.
But so is the relationship with ourselves, which is what introverts excel at.
I love extroverts, and am thankfully married to one, but the idea that gets permeated that introverts are social misfits, unhappy at that, gets tiring.
The myths of introversion: 1. They don't have social skills. Wrong! They just don't need to talk a lot and tend to be OK with quiet. I have good social skills, and I am introverted. I have been called stand offish at times by others, but usually that means that I am overstimulated. 2. Introverts aren't as happy as extroverts. We all need relationships, and as long as an introvert has some close relationships in their life- that is all they need to meet their social needs. They don't need the constant social interaction to feel happy. 3. Introverts are neurotic. Well, they do tend to think about themselves and their relationships a lot, but that could also be emotional intelligence!
Introverts make up around 25% of the population and they tend to have a rich inner life, need time alone to recharge, and like small groups of people to interact with. They like to be alone and seldom get bored with their own company. They do like people and their relationships are very important to them, but they don't need a lot of relationships- a few close friends is perfect.
Being introverted is not a bad thing. Embrace that place inside you that likes your own company!
Are relationships important? Yes.
But so is the relationship with ourselves, which is what introverts excel at.
I love extroverts, and am thankfully married to one, but the idea that gets permeated that introverts are social misfits, unhappy at that, gets tiring.
The myths of introversion: 1. They don't have social skills. Wrong! They just don't need to talk a lot and tend to be OK with quiet. I have good social skills, and I am introverted. I have been called stand offish at times by others, but usually that means that I am overstimulated. 2. Introverts aren't as happy as extroverts. We all need relationships, and as long as an introvert has some close relationships in their life- that is all they need to meet their social needs. They don't need the constant social interaction to feel happy. 3. Introverts are neurotic. Well, they do tend to think about themselves and their relationships a lot, but that could also be emotional intelligence!
Introverts make up around 25% of the population and they tend to have a rich inner life, need time alone to recharge, and like small groups of people to interact with. They like to be alone and seldom get bored with their own company. They do like people and their relationships are very important to them, but they don't need a lot of relationships- a few close friends is perfect.
Being introverted is not a bad thing. Embrace that place inside you that likes your own company!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Lover
The lover is a powerful archetype that tends to first be encountered as a late teen/early adult. It teaches us to connect with others, with ideas, vocations, children, art, the earth, etc.
This archetype invokes passion and sensuality in us and others; it awakens sexual feelings. If the lover is strong in your life, you like the feeling of being “in love” and search it out, either with one partner or many.
The lovers attention differs from the caregiver in that the caregiver wants to help others (sometimes save them) and the lover treats others as peers/equals.
Someone with strong lover energy tends to be romantic and think that love solves everything. Sometimes they are seen as having their head in the clouds by others more practical and pessimistic.
Experiencing the lover can be transformative. It teaches us to love and honor ourselves, others and the earth. In its higher stages, the lover can teach us to connect to a higher power.
Questions to ask yourself: When have you fallen in love? Are you in love with someone or something right now? How much do you enjoy your sensuality? Who do you know that expresses a lot of lover in their life?
This archetype invokes passion and sensuality in us and others; it awakens sexual feelings. If the lover is strong in your life, you like the feeling of being “in love” and search it out, either with one partner or many.
The lovers attention differs from the caregiver in that the caregiver wants to help others (sometimes save them) and the lover treats others as peers/equals.
Someone with strong lover energy tends to be romantic and think that love solves everything. Sometimes they are seen as having their head in the clouds by others more practical and pessimistic.
Experiencing the lover can be transformative. It teaches us to love and honor ourselves, others and the earth. In its higher stages, the lover can teach us to connect to a higher power.
Questions to ask yourself: When have you fallen in love? Are you in love with someone or something right now? How much do you enjoy your sensuality? Who do you know that expresses a lot of lover in their life?
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