The caregiver

The caregiver within knows how to love and care for others. Although the caregiver has traditionally been seen as a women's role and the warrior a males role, we ALL need aspects of the caregiver and the warrior inside of us.

We are called to the caregiver by seeing another in need. The positive qualities of the caregiver are easy to see: warm, loving, concern and care. Hopefully all our parents embody some form of the caregiver because that makes a solid foundation for our young selves.

As with all archetypes, caregiver has a dark side also. It can be martyrdom and controlling behaviors. It can be a way to get our own needs met, by guilting others into doing what we think they should do. Some women over identify with the caregiver and believe that they have worth only in caring for others, and put their own needs aside repeatedly.

How strong is the caregiver in you? Has it changed throughout the years? Do you need more or less caregiver qualities? Who do you know that embodies the caregiver?

The Orphan

"The orphan calls us to wake up, let go of our illusions and face our painful reality." Carol Pearson

We all start the journey as innocents, but then the "fall" happens. We get let down, and this usually happens the first time with our parents, for few of us can be perfect all the time. The orphan is activated when we get wounded- abandoned, hurt, neglected, needs not met, and life is no longer perfect.

If we encounter wounding over and over or the wounds are great, we tend to strongly identify with the orphan archetype and it is a dominant force in our lives.

All of us get wounded- there is no avoiding it. But the wounding is on a continuum: some of us are wounded repeatedly with very egregious offenses, and some may be wounded just from our parent's humanness.

So what are the gifts of the orphan? The innocent believes that good always wins out, but the orphan knows that the bad guys can and do win. The orphan helps us to see life with realism, to acknowledge ours and others wounds and to band together against oppression. We feel more connected to others when we acknowlege our and other's wounds. Everyone is wounded- it is a universal human condition.

The orphan archetype can be painful, but is an important one that we usually revisit during different times of our lives.

There are ways to recognize your inner orphan. Ask yourself, what are my first wounds? How have I been hurt? When have I been abandoned? What are some deep wounds that I have a hard time acknowledging?

Take care of your inner orphan, she needs you to recognize her and she brings depth to your life!