Why do we judge our bodies so?

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so- so many of us think our bodies are not good enough. Particularly not small enough. But also not tall enough (or too tall), not the right proportions, too large or too small here and there, not enough or too much hair (or just not in the right places!), or our face looks to old (or too young).

I hear many complaints about how our bodies aren't good enough each day, and some of these complaints are from me! Why all the criticism and judgement, especially on things we cannot change?

We judge our bodies and usually it comes up short. We feel ashamed and we say negative things about ourselves. We don't feel good enough and that hurts.

Our bodies serve us throughout our lives- often without complaint! Our bodies ground us on the earth. It keeps us living and growing and changing, and often we don't pay attention to it, and when we do acknowledge our bodies, it is to criticise it.

So today, with Thanksgiving coming up, give thanks to your body. It does so many wondrous things every day that we aren't aware of. Your legs carry you forward in life (even if they are too small or too large), your arms reach out and hold your loved ones, your stomach carried your babies, and your beautiful face shows all the life you have lived!

Send love to your body.... it supports you everyday....

Delivery is Important

Previously I have written about being insecure and how recognizing it and acknowledging it to yourself and others can be very healing. So today I write about how we say things to others and not doing the "blame game".

When we feel insecure or not loved we tend to blame our significant other for it- in an angry accusing way. "You did this" "You didn't do this" "You made me feel angry", etc. We make the other person wrong. Our anger keeps distance in the relationship and it really isn't the real issue!

You need to keep your anger in check when you communicate your feelings. How you say it is very important! For example... You are out with your significant other and they talk to another person and you feel threatened, so you accuse them of flirting and disrespecting you and it turns into a huge argument! Sometimes that may be the case where someone is deliberately disrespectful, but usually these actions are unintentional and not meant to hurt you.

By acknowledging that you felt insecure, even just to yourself, the strong emotions will subside. Tell the other, if you can, that you felt insecure when they were talking to the person- this is much better communication than the angry accusations, and chances are you will get a much better response too! Focus on yourself and how you feel, not on what the other "did" or "didn't do". Chances are your significant other will not respond as defensively and you can have some real communication about the issue.

A note on insecurities- When we are in a relationship, I do think the other can help with our insecurities and I will work with the couple on that, but ultimately, if one of the couple feels chronically insecure, it's really their issue that they need to heal. Healing from insecurity is so freeing- it's a journey worth taking.

So when you communicate insecurities focus on how you felt, not what you perceive as the person doing wrong.

Take the risk to communicate differently...it will be worth it.

Taking care of ourselves

I have not been taking good care of myself lately- too much junk food or eating out, not enough exercise, not journaling or meditating or even reading good books! I have also not been connecting enough with friends/family. All of this lack of care is causing me to be more stressed, feel out of balanced and my blood pressure is inching up.

As a therapist I know better than to not care for myself. I know how important it is to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. But knowing we should do something and actually doing it are 2 different things!

I need more quality downtime; I need to move my body more; and I need to eat more wholesome foods.

What about you? Are you taking good care of yourself right now? What are some ways that you do care for yourself? What self-cares makes you feel best?

Well today, I shall go to the Y and do a workout. I will take a walk and cut up the watermelon and veggies in the fridge. I will eat at home.

Setting my intention for the day already makes me feel more calm and balanced.

Be gentle with yourself and others...