So many of us think we need to act tough and hide our wounds from others, especially our significant other. But I am here to tell you that sharing your vulnerabilities is good for you and your relationship! And it's a sign of emotional strength.
I usually recommend some caution if you are with a partner who is unduly critical of you and puts you down in sharing your vulnerabilities (it could get used against you later), but if you are with someone who is generally supportive, sharing will bring you closer together.
Is this easy to do? Not at first, but with practice it gets easier.
Start small- share some benign insecurities at first. Then as trust deepens, move to bigger issues/wounds.
Some examples of "smaller" wounds: "I see my body aging and worry you won't find me as attractive", "When you flirt with others it makes me feel not good enough", "I feel like you put others before me and I am not a priority". None of these are meant to be said in an angry way- but in a "sharing my hurts" way. How you say it will make a huge difference in how it will be taken!
Now some examples of "big" wounds: "Because of my father's alcoholism, I have a hard time trusting, and I need you to be patient with my trust issues, so that I can learn you are not my father". "I am afraid you will leave me because I am so flawed". "I am concerned you do not find me as attractive because I have gained weight."
It takes courage to share our vulnerabilities and when we are able to, it is a sure sign of inner strength. You will feel stronger and stronger and more accepting of yourself and others as you do. Your compassion for yourself and others will grow. And you will be a wonderful role model and allow others the space to share their vulnerabilities!
Take the risk. It will be worth it.
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