Do you have deal breakers in your relationship? Those things that if done you would walk out the door? When I was younger, I had a long list of deal breakers, not written down, but in my head. But as I age, my deal breaker list has gotten shorter, and in fact I'm not sure if it still exists!
Affairs were always at the top of my list and others. But I have seen many relationships not only recover from affairs, but actually have a stronger marriage, not because of the affair, but how they handled it afterward. Other deal breakers of my own and others have been violence, addiction, disrespect, abuse, lying, hiding debt, gambling issues, poor parenting, different political views, obesity, working or not working, too dependent, too independent, different views of child rearing, differing religious views, etc.
Some of these are pretty important to work through, but if you don't agree, does that make it a deal breaker? I am all for having standards in what we expect from people, particularly in how they will treat us, but I also think our deal breaker list should be kept short and on very important things.
By the way, having an affair is no longer on my deal breaker list. It could be put on it depending on the circumstances and how it was handled, but I no longer think it's an automatic walk away. Shhhhh don't tell my husband that though!
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