Simple answers are seldom to be found to many situations in our lives, especially our relationships. The times in my life that I have clung to simple ideas/beliefs it was a way for me to try feel safe in the world of unknown. Rigid black and white thinking is often an attempt to protect ourselves in some way- emotionally, physically, our family, etc.
An example of my own rigid thinking is when I insisted my oldest child try out for sports. I had ideas in my head that childhood had to include organized competitive sports, but it really wants what was best for my artistic non competitive child. I played sports so I thought my children needed to play sports, even if they didn't enjoy it. Well he didn't last long with participating in sports, and I understand it much better now. It wasn't the right fit for him, and it's not for a lot of kids, and that's OK. I could have saved him and myself much grief by loosening up my thinking and recognizing differences and supporting those differences. In this case there was a simple answer- help him to be who he is not who I think he should be!
Anyone else have situations where they clung to rigid thinking and if the outcome was good or bad?
I had rigid thinking about my kids learning a musical instrument. Still don't know if I did the right thing; I encouraged all attempts at trying different instruments but didn't "push" them when they lost interest. Trouble is, none of them developed any musical know how. Now they say, "why didn't you make us keep taking music lessons!" I think I should have pushed it more, but because I didn't have any musical ability, it was easier to say ok you can stop.
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